Dear Ma'am,

I've been taking tremendous efforts trying to place my guts to speak here. It's been hard sharing secrets with others, especially sensitive issues. Well, I decided to spread thing out as the result of frustration...

What's bothering me? I'm in doubt now. I seem lost here; not being able to adapt to lecture classes, failing to "communicate" with lecturers, while on the other hand, losing control of myself. My 7-8 years of best friends are nowhere near me (even the closest I could approach is WYC, who stays nest to my college), while the friends I'm into now seems... Lost??? There are times when almost everyone is playing their respective favourite sports during the evening, and I'm sleeping like a pig in my room. Weird but true, I'm not close with my roommates, in the sense that I don't hang out with both of them (different groups), and I'm always alone (bet both of them were busy courting girls everyday). Pitiful huh?

I was so into sports when I was in MBS. Now, I've totally lost my touch on things. Never felt the same hanging out with Jason compare with Saha n co. Past few days, I just couldn't click on, wonder why. Was it because of my "mood swing"? Or was it because of the rumours going on? Speaking of rumours, "thanks" to Jason, I'm having a "wonderful" moment here.

Ask further no more~ Today, Collins message me during noon. Eventually he got into UPM as well. Cool news, but he was offered "German language". It seems he wanted Economics, and he's trying his very best to change course. Pray for him would you? It's lucky for him, to get into uni after appealing. It seems he's staying in KTP (Kolej Tun Perak), same with Kit Yan, just 5 minutes walk from my college!

..... Sorry Ma'am for mention unrelated stuff. I appreciate the patience inside you. As for now, I would raher touch something from the bottom of my heart. Many friends touched my soul, came and left. For some I didn't really hang on long with, others I didn't have the time appreciate. I realize that for times, I'm acting nasty, being a very not-nice-guy. Sad but true, it's only after the end of a relation that I got my lesson. I had the worse time of my life, for many didn't knew about it. I was down for months, even almost neglected my studies for it. Tears were like raindrops, and sun wasn't on my side. Maybe it was destiny. I wasn't her cup of tea. If she found the right guy, I would be happy for her as well. Everytime I met her, I was happy to find out that she's doing well, sticking with her mr right. I only wish to be her best friends for time. Would you keep this a secret for me?

I met someone here, who caught my eye. Admire is a thing, taking an action is another, for I don't put any hopes for now. Let's put things under observation. LOL

For now, I wish I could withdraw myself from the prom.

-TJ-